TSA Demonstrates What Will Happen if they Ever Catch Up With Dora the Explorer

In the Full Story below, we see video of how the Chattanooga Metropolitan Airport TSA brings the adult size fail to a whole new generation of child travelers. Glad to hear that James Marchand, TSA Regional Director, thinks that the CHA TSA team could use some sensitivity training. Surely by 'sensitivity', he actually meant 'common sense'.
Even though Mr. Roger's had no problem taking his shoes off... it is now clear to see why he preferred traveling by trolley.

Full Story

TSA- Now With Less Baggage Theft

That's right- 50% less baggage theft over the last 5 years. That's huge! According to the Full Story below, the traveling public only accused the TSA of stealing or damaging items 11,700 times in 2009. Considering that 600,000,000 people flew in 2009, 11,700 thefts is almost nothing.
Why, that would be the same amount of nothing as North American automakers stealing or damaging 134 cars as they came off the assembly line... it's hardly noticeable. Or, it would be like US Mint workers walking out the door with $5800 a year... a mere pittance. It would also be comparable to McDonalds workers mugging 1170 of their customers while they wait in line- each day. Who could be bothered by that?

Full Story

Has It Really Been Three Weeks Without a Security Breach?

Avid readers of TSAFail may remember the string of security breaches at the end of February caused by the TSA losing a passenger selected for secondary screening. First there was EWR, followed by PHX, then HOU had to join the club. We also threw in a blast from the past with DFW covering the Failback Position and reminding us how the TSA would lose flagged passengers- 2003 style.
Well, it happened again. This time it's the LAX TSA in the Full Story below selecting a passenger for additional screening and losing them along the way.
Why oh why does this keep happening? How can so many people keep showing up at airports, require more than average scrutiny and then just go missing like potentially dangerous versions of milk carton kids? If only there was a band of people who could prevent this sort of thing. Maybe an organization, with a team stationed in every airport who could ensure that... oh wait.
Nevermind.

Full Story

TSA Secretly Hates the TSA

Or at least at the Tampa International Airport they do. The Full Story below describes managers threatening staff with federal treason charges for talking to the media, TSA officers describing the TPA airport security system as 3 card monte and it wouldn't be a TSAFail story without hundreds of bags flagged for hand screening that get loaded onto airplanes without any additional screening- daily. The whole situation at Tampa International sounds a bit like Captain Bligh in charge of the 3 Stooges. In other words, business as usual.
For extra fun, do read the Full Story through to the end. It is in the last paragraph that the questionable writing style drops into full bizarro world speak.

Full Story

Fargo TSA- Always on Red Alert

At TSAFail, we have previously noted how the TSA Staff at Hector Internation Airport in Fargo could use a little less coffee in their life. But, in the Full Story below you can almost taste the caffeine in the air- mixed with the bitter disappointment of the FAR TSA for not having a real threat to deal with. The noticing of a passenger arriving, with his family and going back through an exit he just came out of, is enough to draw the attention of any TSA agent (assuming they aren't sleeping). But it takes the hyper vigilant Fargo TSA officers to start shouting 'breach' and closing down the screening area. On the plus side, it only delayed two flights. On the negative side, Hector International only has 16 departures on their busiest day. Not content with merely apprehending the errant passenger in the bathroom, the countries most tightly wound TSA officers on duty at the countries 145 busiest airport had to start inspecting the underside of their screening equipment with mirrors- just to be sure of... of... ummmmm... something.
Attention Hector International TSA... put down the mugs and step away from the coffee pot.

Full Story

Chicago TSA Agents Have a Problem With Boning

The Chicago O'Hare TSA officers don't like boning. Specifically the boning of Raquel Welch.... that would be the boning in her bustier... you know the supporting bit.... the part that makes a metal detector beep.
Oh, nevermind.
Just read the Full Story below and chuckle like whichever half of comedy duo Beavis and Butthead that you always wished you were.
Feel free to weep a bit too for a security system so inflexible and devoid of common sense, that the ORD TSA officers need to pat down a former movie star, just because their playbook says so.

Full Story

Failback Position: Because if Something is Missing...

It just proves that your luggage was inspected by the TSA.
Today's Failback Position takes us back to late November 2004. The dismissal of the theft issue by TSA spokesman Mark Hatfield in the Full Story below, is especially fun. 15000 claims of theft from a government run security agency is small? At the time, an average of 10 thefts per airport per year- small.

Full Story

We Have Top Men Working On It...

-Who?
-Top... Men
Those were the words of the government spooks at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark in answer to Indiana Jones' question as to what will become of the ark. As we all know, the next scene was the ark rolling into a infinitely large warehouse. No top men... no one working on anything. Of course this is a rather stereotypical characture of government secrecy covering something truly ineffectual.
Cue the TSA. If there is an organization that can take a characture and turn it into a full blown cartoon it would be the TSA.
Click through the Full Story below to read how Gale Rossides, the TSA's acting administrator acts out her best version of the classic Indiana Jones' finale.

Full Story