Has the Newark International Airport hired Crocodile Dundee as a screener? What reason, other than a gross misconception regarding what size of blade qualifies as a knife, could explain how a serrated folding knife went through an airport checkpoint unnoticed? Do read the Full Story below to see TSA spokesperson Ann Davis describe how the TSA screener who missed the knife will receive remedial training.
Remedial?
If a TSA screener is missing knives that go through their checkpoint, they don't need remedial training they need training. This is what happens when the qualifications for being a TSA screener consist of 'must like pizza'. The Full Story below also notes how on the same day as the knife incident at Newark Liberty, TSA officers detected and removed a smoke bomb from a passenger's luggage. A 5" long smokebomb in the shape of a stick of dynamite with 'mammoth smoke' written on the side of it in brightly colored letters.
Next time Wile E. Coyote should just pack a knife.
Full Story
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
TSA Accidently Hires Danny Ocean
It's the TSA's best of the best of the best at it again. Per the Full Story below a SeaTac TSA agent has admitted to lifting $20k worth of passengers jewelry from their luggage.
Just like Ocean's Eleven!
Except, probably without the George Clooney looks, or the cleverly orchestrated heist plan, or the highly trained team of accomplices, or the high tech gadgetry, or the casino setting.
Ok... so it's more like the guy who steals your hubcaps while you are stopped at a traffic light- only he's employed by the government.
Full Story
Just like Ocean's Eleven!
Except, probably without the George Clooney looks, or the cleverly orchestrated heist plan, or the highly trained team of accomplices, or the high tech gadgetry, or the casino setting.
Ok... so it's more like the guy who steals your hubcaps while you are stopped at a traffic light- only he's employed by the government.
Full Story
Thursday, August 12, 2010
TSA = T$A
At TSAFail, any story of security breaches, unscreened luggage, missed threats, evacuated airports, theft, assault, general dim-wittedness and a bad attitude would not surprise us. We have come to expect that- in fact it is why you are here reading this today.
But the thought of cash bonuses for TSA staff?
Never. Would. Have. Occured.
Oh TSA. How you keep surprising us.
Do read the Full Story below for the paragraph that outlines the $95.8M the TSA paid it's staff in bonuses last year. On average that is $2000 per TSA employee. Another way to look at it is as if each of the 735M air passengers last year each chipped in $0.13 per person, per flight.
Do we need to even mention the state of the economy last year? It makes us pine for the days that the most ineffectual government employees could botch the most important crisis of the day and get a 'Brownie, you're doing a heckuva job'. Pats on the back are free.
What could be next? Tip jars at airport security lines?
Full Story
But the thought of cash bonuses for TSA staff?
Never. Would. Have. Occured.
Oh TSA. How you keep surprising us.
Do read the Full Story below for the paragraph that outlines the $95.8M the TSA paid it's staff in bonuses last year. On average that is $2000 per TSA employee. Another way to look at it is as if each of the 735M air passengers last year each chipped in $0.13 per person, per flight.
Do we need to even mention the state of the economy last year? It makes us pine for the days that the most ineffectual government employees could botch the most important crisis of the day and get a 'Brownie, you're doing a heckuva job'. Pats on the back are free.
What could be next? Tip jars at airport security lines?
Full Story
Monday, July 19, 2010
Rhode Island Wants to be a Top 10 Airport
Poor T.F. Green State Airport and it's TSA team. They are only the 62nd biggest airport in the nation, just behind Anchorage. But, they have dreams. Big dreams. But how is such a small airport to make a big name for itself if not through number of passengers?
The TSA at PVD airport (T.F. Green = PVD????) is now following in the footsteps of top 10 airports like HOU, LAX, LAX again, HOU again, PHX and EWR. As we learn in the Full Story below PVD TSA screeners are breaking into the big time by losing a passenger at a security checkpoint and then shutting down the airport to look for them. The PVD TSA is thorough- they also brought all planes on the tarmac back to the airport to rescreen all of those passengers too.
It is the 7th month of the year and this is the 7th such TSA caused shutdown of an airport. Odds of a similar breach occurring in August appear to be slightly better than the sun rising tomorrow.
Full Story
The TSA at PVD airport (T.F. Green = PVD????) is now following in the footsteps of top 10 airports like HOU, LAX, LAX again, HOU again, PHX and EWR. As we learn in the Full Story below PVD TSA screeners are breaking into the big time by losing a passenger at a security checkpoint and then shutting down the airport to look for them. The PVD TSA is thorough- they also brought all planes on the tarmac back to the airport to rescreen all of those passengers too.
It is the 7th month of the year and this is the 7th such TSA caused shutdown of an airport. Odds of a similar breach occurring in August appear to be slightly better than the sun rising tomorrow.
Full Story
Monday, July 12, 2010
TSA Brings New Meaning to '30 mins or it's free'
At TSAFail, we have often wondered where the TSA continues to find and recruit its staff- a group we like to call the best of the best of the best. Based on the amount of theft in the system, we always assumed that it was outside of a parole office or as part of a court ordered community service program. In the Full Story below, we find pictures of the top quality recruitment program that Regan National Airport and Washington Dulles use to reach out to potential new Transportation Security Officers.
Just remember recruits... if there is more than 3oz of sauce on that pie, you can't take it to work with you.
Full Story
Just remember recruits... if there is more than 3oz of sauce on that pie, you can't take it to work with you.
Full Story
Thursday, July 8, 2010
EWR TSA Has a Lost & Found?
Who knew? If only the TSA's lost & found wasn't run by the TSA, people might have a chance of being reunited with their property. Like so many other things that the TSA is responsible for, they can only deliver on half of the mandate implied by 'lost & found'. In the Full Story below, we learn of a TSA employee working in the office serving Newark International. Another fine example of the TSA's best of the best of the best, this employee has been arrested for stealing a laptop from the lost and found and trying to sell it.
Lost & what was the other part of that again?
Full Story
Lost & what was the other part of that again?
Full Story
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
We're Back (and we brought a summary)!
Once in a while at TSAFail, we like to take some time off- for instance, all of June.
So what did we miss? Or what did the TSA miss? Or more importantly, did you miss us?
Let's see what TSAFailed in the June that was:
The TSA finally got a new leader- John Pistole. According to the Full Story below, it seems that his biggest concern is unionizing or not unionizing the TSA's labor force. Obviously, all other problems the TSA may have faced, were solved in the last 17 months with nothing other than an interim director running the organization.
Full Story
One of these problems is not being able to meet the recommendations of the 9/11 commission, 5 years on, and screen 100% of the cargo that goes into the belly of an airplane. The TSA may take away your snow globe and toothpaste. They may shut down a terminal for hours because some screener missed some passenger packing a bottle of wine, but rest assured traveling public- it is all in the name of security. However, that unscreened palette of cargo in the hold of the airplane whose passengers have been stripped of their snow globes and toothpaste does seem to add the word 'theatre' to the end of the previous sentence.
Full Story
In fairness though, screening all cargo that goes onto an airplane would be expensive. Much more expensive than the TSA's $7B budget would allow. Perhaps that is why the TSA made a bit of extra money by overcharging the airlines for security fees. $119M extra. Considering that the TSA only stole or damaged $343k worth of passenger property in 2009, we should all count ourselves lucky that we aren't traveling under the name 'Southwest'.
Full Story
One does wonder though if that $343k value of stolen goods includes items that are stolen, but recovered. Items such as the Oxycontin pills that a screener at Little Rock National Airport decided to remove from a passengers luggage and 'conceal'. Would someone please explain to the TSA screeners that a security checkpoint is not a tollbooth? TSA theft and drugs in one story, good job LIT TSA on showing us the best of the best of the best, Arkansas style.
Full Story
Philadelphia International Airport is one of our favorites at TSAFail. Their madcap screenings of disabled 4 year olds, people with suspicious phrase books and complete misunderstanding of the point of a canine team has always brought innovation and raised the bar for TSAFails everywhere. PHL did it again in June and anecdotally stepped up their level of passenger harassment. We say anecdotally since there is no actual proof that the PHL TSA is using Caged Heat as a screener training video.
Full Story
Last but not least, won't someone please think of the children? The TSA does and made the traveling experience of one lucky 6 year old girl extra special last June, by ensuring that she was on a no-fly list. The Full Story below quotes the TSA as saying that the girl being on the no-fly list is probably a result of the 'secure flight program' coming fully online in June. Sounds good so long as you don't read the TSA's own blog on the secure flight program and to try to understand that explanation:
That was June. John Pistole- welcome aboard!
So what did we miss? Or what did the TSA miss? Or more importantly, did you miss us?
Let's see what TSAFailed in the June that was:
The TSA finally got a new leader- John Pistole. According to the Full Story below, it seems that his biggest concern is unionizing or not unionizing the TSA's labor force. Obviously, all other problems the TSA may have faced, were solved in the last 17 months with nothing other than an interim director running the organization.
Full Story
One of these problems is not being able to meet the recommendations of the 9/11 commission, 5 years on, and screen 100% of the cargo that goes into the belly of an airplane. The TSA may take away your snow globe and toothpaste. They may shut down a terminal for hours because some screener missed some passenger packing a bottle of wine, but rest assured traveling public- it is all in the name of security. However, that unscreened palette of cargo in the hold of the airplane whose passengers have been stripped of their snow globes and toothpaste does seem to add the word 'theatre' to the end of the previous sentence.
Full Story
In fairness though, screening all cargo that goes onto an airplane would be expensive. Much more expensive than the TSA's $7B budget would allow. Perhaps that is why the TSA made a bit of extra money by overcharging the airlines for security fees. $119M extra. Considering that the TSA only stole or damaged $343k worth of passenger property in 2009, we should all count ourselves lucky that we aren't traveling under the name 'Southwest'.
Full Story
One does wonder though if that $343k value of stolen goods includes items that are stolen, but recovered. Items such as the Oxycontin pills that a screener at Little Rock National Airport decided to remove from a passengers luggage and 'conceal'. Would someone please explain to the TSA screeners that a security checkpoint is not a tollbooth? TSA theft and drugs in one story, good job LIT TSA on showing us the best of the best of the best, Arkansas style.
Full Story
Philadelphia International Airport is one of our favorites at TSAFail. Their madcap screenings of disabled 4 year olds, people with suspicious phrase books and complete misunderstanding of the point of a canine team has always brought innovation and raised the bar for TSAFails everywhere. PHL did it again in June and anecdotally stepped up their level of passenger harassment. We say anecdotally since there is no actual proof that the PHL TSA is using Caged Heat as a screener training video.
Full Story
Last but not least, won't someone please think of the children? The TSA does and made the traveling experience of one lucky 6 year old girl extra special last June, by ensuring that she was on a no-fly list. The Full Story below quotes the TSA as saying that the girl being on the no-fly list is probably a result of the 'secure flight program' coming fully online in June. Sounds good so long as you don't read the TSA's own blog on the secure flight program and to try to understand that explanation:
"...and I'm happy to announce that TSA is now performing 100% of the watchlist matching for domestic flights. (Airlines used to conduct all of the passenger watchlist matching)...Secure Flight will help prevent the misidentification of passengers who have names similar to actual people on the government watchlists..."Full Story
That was June. John Pistole- welcome aboard!
Friday, June 4, 2010
Littlerock TSA- Procedurally Dyslexic
The LIT TSA knows what their job is. They prevent passengers from taking dangerous or prohibited items on board aircraft. Unfortunately, they just have a bit of trouble getting the order of things correct. As we learn in the Full Story below it was the Little Rock Arkansas TSA who closed the barn door once the cow left, by phoning ahead to Bush Airport in Texas and asking if the passengers on a flight departing LIT could be screened for weapons on arrival.
LIT TSA- putting the cart before the horse... putting on their shoes before their pants... putting the Fail in TSAFail.
Full Story
LIT TSA- putting the cart before the horse... putting on their shoes before their pants... putting the Fail in TSAFail.
Full Story
Friday, May 28, 2010
GAO Slams TSA's Jedi Skills
Did you know that the TSA has been running a Jedi Academy of sorts? It's called the SPOT program, which stands for Screening of Passengers by Observation Techniques. It involves highly trained TSA Jedi (known as Behavior Dectection Officers- BDOs) picking the bad guys out of a line of passengers simply by looking at them and reading subtle body language cues. Would you be surprised that the government's own watchdog division (the GAO) has just declared the program a TSAFailure?
The TSA SPOT training program that educates it's students to see the Force aura, halo, BO, or general shifty eyes of potential terrorists consists of 4 days of classroom training and 3 days of on the job training. Luke Skywalker spent more time than that with Obi Wan and Yoda and he still had his friend frozen into a wall hanging and his hand chopped off. This is not auspicious.
By comparison, the TSA SPOT program has just under 3000 BDO Jedi in place at airports that have seen total traffic of 2 billion passengers. BDOs determined that 152,000 people were a disturbance in the force. Of those, 14,000 people were turned over to the police for further review. Of those, 1100 actually had charges brought against them, mostly for immigration violations or outstanding warrants. Are you wondering about the terrorists and practitioners of the dark side that this was designed to catch? Known terrorists passed through 8 US airports 23 times with this program in place and didn't even raise an eyebrow of a BDO. Ouch TSA! There goes your hand!
Do click through to the Full Story below for fun details like the cost of this program. We have also included a link to the GAO report which is a great read itself, with true TSAFail section headings like:
-SPOT Was Deployed Nationwide on Basis of Threat, but Without a Comprehensive Risk Assessment
-TSA Deployed SPOT Nationwide Without Conducting a Cost-Benefit Analysis...
-TSA Lacks Program Effectiveness Measures...
-Do or Do Not, There is No Try
-The Force Will Be With You... Always
Full Story
Full GAO Story
The TSA SPOT training program that educates it's students to see the Force aura, halo, BO, or general shifty eyes of potential terrorists consists of 4 days of classroom training and 3 days of on the job training. Luke Skywalker spent more time than that with Obi Wan and Yoda and he still had his friend frozen into a wall hanging and his hand chopped off. This is not auspicious.
By comparison, the TSA SPOT program has just under 3000 BDO Jedi in place at airports that have seen total traffic of 2 billion passengers. BDOs determined that 152,000 people were a disturbance in the force. Of those, 14,000 people were turned over to the police for further review. Of those, 1100 actually had charges brought against them, mostly for immigration violations or outstanding warrants. Are you wondering about the terrorists and practitioners of the dark side that this was designed to catch? Known terrorists passed through 8 US airports 23 times with this program in place and didn't even raise an eyebrow of a BDO. Ouch TSA! There goes your hand!
Do click through to the Full Story below for fun details like the cost of this program. We have also included a link to the GAO report which is a great read itself, with true TSAFail section headings like:
-SPOT Was Deployed Nationwide on Basis of Threat, but Without a Comprehensive Risk Assessment
-TSA Deployed SPOT Nationwide Without Conducting a Cost-Benefit Analysis...
-TSA Lacks Program Effectiveness Measures...
-Do or Do Not, There is No Try
-The Force Will Be With You... Always
Full Story
Full GAO Story
Thursday, May 27, 2010
TSA Starts a Shopping Club
The Norfolk International Airport TSA has started a members only shopping club. Just like Costco, there is membership card- called a security ID badge. Just like a wearing a wife beater to Walmart, there is a uniform- blue shirts and badges. And just like a big box store, the ORF TSA has a retail outlet- called the airport. Unlike any other big box shopping club though, you don't have go and retrieve your own items. Personal shoppers- called 'passengers' bring the merchandise to you. Granted most of it is crap- hairdryers, magazines, clothes not in your size, etc. But every once in a while a real gem comes by. When you belong to the Norfolk International Airport TSA shopping club and a personal shopper/passenger brings you something you want- such as a $24,000 Rolex- just take it.
As the Full Story below describes- membership has it's privileges.
No, not really. We here at TSAFail made that part up. Not the part about the ORF TSA taking a $24,000 Rolex, just the part about a shopping club. There is no club... just more theft by the TSA's best of the best of the best.
Considering that the starting salary for a TSA screener is $23,400, it is probably safe to assume that any screener wearing a $24,000 watch has joined the TSA shopping club.
Full Story
As the Full Story below describes- membership has it's privileges.
No, not really. We here at TSAFail made that part up. Not the part about the ORF TSA taking a $24,000 Rolex, just the part about a shopping club. There is no club... just more theft by the TSA's best of the best of the best.
Considering that the starting salary for a TSA screener is $23,400, it is probably safe to assume that any screener wearing a $24,000 watch has joined the TSA shopping club.
Full Story
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